A Leap of Faith

The pain is overwhelming,

As I sit motionlessly,

Listening to every bicker,

Absorbing them like a sponge,

Without uttering a word,

That could be recorded as a sin,

By the angels of my left and right.

"I told you so",

In every statement you throw out,

Only to make me realize,

The mistakes that I knew were mine;

A very long time ago.

Did you know my struggle;

Having to wake up the nights you didn't,

And cry in my supplications,

To beg for strength,

From the One who I disobeyed then?

Did you see the minor changes;

That I tried to make,

The willingness for me,

To increase in good deeds,

And decrease in bad ones?

Did you see the struggle,

Everytime Syaitan tempts me to sin,

The urge was unbearable,

Itching to sin so badly,

But Allah helped me,

To withstand the heaviest of temptations,

That others might see as,

A piece of cake.

Nobody will understand,

The struggle I endured,

You expect big things from me,

To transform from a drug addict,

To a sinless murobbi,

Or a devil to an angel.

You expected big leaps,

When I am only capable of small ones,

Didn't you know that,

Small ones will eventually become,

That big leap you're expecting,

If only;

You give me time,

And a little leap of faith.